


Porn Again

by FeelTheWord



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And can kick your ass Muay Thai style, And hilarity ensues!, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hux deserves to be fed to the sharks, Jesus cares about your boob job, Kylo is our knight in filthy armour, Luke has a friend in Jesus and can interpret dreams, Opposites Attract, Phasma is the secret star of the story, This fic is not the smutocalypse, We have our own little porn convention, With palm trees, worlds collide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-15 04:30:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelTheWord/pseuds/FeelTheWord
Summary: "Rey had never prayed this fervently in her life. Standing on sparsely lit Venice Beach Boardwalk, she slowly backed away from the man brandishing a knife and jeering at her with an insidious, 'Hey, doll, here all by yourself so late?'"Watch our unlikely hero entering the scene...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the lovely mika4eyed for illustrating my story. :) And to my beta Auraki for making my work immeasurably better by using her superior language magic on it.

Rey had never prayed this fervently in her life. Standing on sparsely lit Venice Beach Boardwalk, she slowly backed away from the man brandishing a knife and jeering at her with an insidious, “Hey, doll, here all by yourself so late?”

While only two hours earlier families, skaters and skinny wannabe models had been crowding the Boardwalk, it now seemed completely deserted. All Rey could hear was the sound of her own breathing and the occasional crash of the surf in the distance.

As the man stepped closer, she saw teeth glimmering beneath a tiny black moustache and tattoos crisscrossing his arms, crawling out from underneath his shirt sleeves like snakes.

Without warning, he lunged at Rey, roughly grabbing her arm. His hand clamped on her like a shackle but just as she readied to scream, a long, jeans-clad leg appeared from nowhere, kicking the man’s head with such force that it snapped backward like it belonged to a cartoon character.

Giving a deafening shout of pain, the attacker abruptly released Rey, inadvertently hitting her head hard with his elbow as he fell to the ground. She lost her balance and plummeted ungracefully backwards.

Just as her head connected with the pavement, she heard a deep male voice hiss, “Fucking lowlife!”

Then, she passed out.

…

Someone was touching her hair and forehead searchingly. “Hey. Wake up!” She felt a gentle slap against her cheek. “Wake up!”

Rey slowly opened her eyes and met a worried brown gaze. In the semi-darkness, it took her a moment to focus on the face above her. It belonged to a man maybe ten years her senior and it was odd in a fascinating way; the nose was too big, the ears too large, and the lips too full, but still as a whole it was an unconventionally handsome face. It was framed by full, jet black hair.

Rey lurched upwards but instantly felt light-headed, raising her hands to her temples. She caught sight of the attacker’s body lying on the pavement next to her and turned to her brown-eyed saviour with an incredulous look. “Did you just kick that man in the head? What are you, some sort of professional athlete?”

“Something like that,” the man muttered. “Let me take a look at your head, to see if you're bleeding.” Large hands gently parted her dark brown hair and closely examined her scalp with probing fingers. “No blood, but I can see definite bruising. Do you have a headache?”

She brushed errant strands of hair away from her eyes. “Everything feels a bit fuzzy, but I think I’m okay.”

“Well, _I think_ we should have you checked out at an ER. Head injuries are not to be taken lightly.”

Rey was taken aback by the seriousness of his gaze.

She glanced at the unconscious man. “Tell that to the guy over there.” Her eyes met her savior’s again. “And I can't afford to go to the ER.”

“I could care less about that piece of scum,” he sneered as he eyed her would-be attacker. “He’s lucky he’s still breathing. But you… what’s your name?”

“Rey.”

“Rey.” He seemed to taste the name on his tongue. “I’ve done martial arts for years and trust me, you don’t want to deal with the after-effects of an untreated concussion. Let me take you to the ER and we’ll figure something out.”

Rey raised her brows at him in surprise. “ _We’ll_ figure something out? Well, what’s _your_ name?”

“Ben,” the man said with a smile that made her heart lurch. The worry in his eyes was suddenly replaced by a warm glow.

“Ben...” Rey repeated thoughtfully. “I’m really, really thankful for your help, but I think I’m okay.”

The brightness on his face clouded over again. “Rey, I’m not kidding. I don’t want to physically drag you to a doctor, but you hit your head pretty hard and passed out. I won’t let you walk off alone just for you to run into another creep keen on doing what I just prevented Mr. Scumbag from doing.”

Ben stared at her with an intensity that made Rey lower her eyes.

“Look, I literally just saved you,” he said. “Can you find it in your heart to trust me?”

“Okay,” Rey mumbled eventually, but then pinned him with an inquisitive look. “Why do you care?”

“Let’s just say I have a special hatred for those who prey on the defenseless.” Before she could protest against being called defenseless, Ben took her hand and carefully pulled her up to her feet. “Come on Rey, let’s get going."

Rey steadied herself by holding onto Ben’s shoulder, and noticed in her drowsy state that he was almost a head taller and felt like he was made of stone. Beneath the streetlights, she could also see that he was wearing a teal green shirt beneath a light grey blazer. After the world had stopped spinning, Rey peered over her shoulder at the man still lying motionless on the ground. “Shouldn’t we call the police or something?”

“This area is a hornet’s nest full of lowlifes. He’ll have his comeuppance soon enough. Though, wait a second...” Ben paused in front of the passed-out man and with visible satisfaction, gave him a swift kick in the side. Rey frowned but Ben had already started to move on, pulling her by the hand towards the side streets of Venice Beach.

They passed a variety of cars but finally stopped in front of a silver Maserati, glittering with a myriad of sparkles beneath the light of the surrounding neon signs. Rey eyed the expensive vehicle with hesitation. “So… that’s your car? Snazzy.”

Ben opened the passenger door for her. “Please, get in. I’ll drive you to the UCLA Medical Center.”

Rey sunk down into the soft leather seat, still flustered by the strangeness of the situation and the fuzzy feeling in her head. Once Ben was behind the wheel, he expertly maneuvered the car out of the parking spot and onto the road. They drove in silence for a short while, until he flicked his eyes over to Rey curiously. “What were you doing on Venice Beach Boardwalk this late at night?”

“I went there to pray.”

“You _what_?” He turned his head to regard her before he caught himself and returned his eyes to the road.

Rey observed his strong profile, an earnest look in her hazel eyes. “I felt like God wanted me to pray for the area. You know, because it’s such a hotspot for crime and so many spiritually dark things happen there.”

Rey saw Ben’s curious expression turning incredulous. “You almost got yourself _raped_ because you wanted to pray for the area?”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that...”

“You almost got yourself raped because you went to Venice Beach to pray. To me, that looks like a fact.”

Rey sighed, unwilling to argue. “Fine. So why were you in the area then?”

He hesitated, before he answered neutrally, “Work.”

“What kind of work? Are you a drug dealer?”

Ben snorted. “No, I’m not a drug dealer. But let’s not change the subject here. So you were at Venice Beach to pray... While you were passed out I looked through your bag for an ID. What I found was a neon pink New Testament with the words ‘Jesus loves LA’ printed on the cover. Right next to a _beatific_ picture of palm trees swaying in the wind.”

Rey just stared at him, her dainty lips opened in surprise, so he went on. “What exactly is it that you’re a part of? A bunch of funky Christians who have occasional bad lapses of judgement?”

“I won’t tell you if you’re just going to make fun of me.”

“No, I’m genuinely intrigued.”

“Well,” she finally said while tracing the smooth lines of the dashboard with her fingers. “I came up from San Diego this morning to go to this Christian conference downtown at the Microsoft Theatre. This one preacher from Seattle was telling us how he used to go clubbing for Jesus and pray for people while dancing in the clubs. He was encouraging us to sow prayers into LA, instead of just staying inside of our Christian bubble, you know? Have you seen the movie _Lords of Dogtown_?”

Ben shook his head.

“It’s one of my favourite movies and it’s set in the 1970s in the Venice Beach skating community. And I just had a sudden feeling that I should pray for the area.”

“And that’s when you met one of the locals,” Ben said with a frown as he stopped at a traffic light.

“Well, thank God you came in time to save me.”

Ben’s head swung towards her, his deep voice deceivingly calm but tinged with an edge Rey was not sure how to place. “Trust me, Rey, I’m probably the last person God would choose to save you.”

She obstinately held his gaze. “He obviously did.”

Ben put his foot back on the gas and directed his focus to the road while shaking his head and laughing humorlessly, “Right.”

At that moment, Rey noticed the brick buildings of the UCLA Medical Center appearing on their left. Ben drove the Maserati into the parking lot and without exchanging any words they exited the vehicle and made their way to the brightly lit entrance beside the emergency driveway.

They walked through the sliding doors and into the waiting area, which seemed very quiet even for a Thursday night. At the front desk, Ben quickly explained the situation to a bored receptionist regarding him from behind red-rimmed glasses. The woman finally handed Rey a form to detail all of her personal information.

Rey was leaning on the front desk and filling in her information when she caught Ben glancing over her shoulder. She threw him an annoyed look.

Unperturbed, he asked, “Why have you crossed out ‘Next of Kin’?”

“My parents died in a car accident when I was four. I was brought up by my grandmother, but she died two years ago. So, you could say that I’m kinless,” Rey said matter-of-factly.

“You don’t have any relatives at all?”

“Nope. It’s a tragedy really,” she replied casually. “Well, I have good friends. And please, don’t start to feel sorry for me.”

With that, she walked over to a more secluded spot next to the vending machine and sat down to finish filling out the form. Ben placed his overlong limbs in a blue plastic chair at the other side of the room and began studying a poster about colon cleansing.

After Rey had completed and handed in the paperwork she sat down next to Ben to wait for the nurse.

The only other person in the waiting room was a young Latino man wearing an LA Dodgers shirt who was unabashedly staring at Ben and grinning widely. Rey frowned and glanced between the man and Ben, who seemed to be completely oblivious to the attention he was receiving.

She elbowed Ben sharply in the side and whispered, “Why is that guy staring at you?”

Ben briefly glanced in the man’s direction. “Maybe it’s my luscious hair,” he mumbled evasively.

The nurse chose that moment to summon the Latino man to the examination room. As he walked past Ben he exclaimed with a wink and a thumbs up, “Kylo Ren, I love your work!”

Rey sensed Ben tense up next to her, but she didn’t hear him say anything in response to the compliment. Overcome with curiosity, she pulled her smartphone from her bag and typed the words ‘Kylo Ren’ into the search engine. However, before she could hit ‘Enter’, Ben snatched the phone out of her hand.

 

"Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” she exclaimed, turning towards him with a furious expression. “Who is Kylo Ren? Your gangster name? Or are you a con artist pretending to provide charity to unsuspecting females?”

Ben sighed. “Not quite...” Rey was still glaring at him with angry brown eyes, so he finally gave in. “Kylo Ren is my pornstar name.”

“Your _what_?”

“My pornstar name. Meaning that I’m a pornstar. Quite a successful one, I should add.”

He switched on that disarming smile again but Rey could also detect defiance in his eyes.

She tried her best to wipe the look of shock from her face, and after taking a deep breath, she said impassively, “This evening is just getting more and more interesting. So, when you said you’d come to Venice Beach for work, you’d been… filming?”

“Yes.” Ben said after a moment, then reluctantly handed Rey her phone back. “Considering your religious sensibilities, I’d advise you not to hit the ‘Enter’ button. Unless you wish to see me just as God created me. While being involved in all kinds of recreational activities.”

Rey’s face turned scarlet and she pointedly switched off her phone.

They sat in awkward silence for the next few minutes. When the nurse finally called Rey’s name, she literally jumped up in relief and hurried towards the examination room.

…

Twenty minutes later, Rey returned and saw Ben still waiting patiently in the blue plastic chair.

“What did the nurse say?” he asked as he stood up.

“She checked my balance, coordination and vision, and it turns out that I have a light concussion. Nothing serious though. She said a simple night’s sleep would already do me a lot of good. She also prescribed some painkillers, just in case. But I’m so not looking forward to the ER bill.”

“I’ve already taken care of that,” Ben said casually while pointedly focusing on the wall behind Rey.

She stared at him, “You paid my bill?”

“Yes. As I said, I’m quite successful in my profession.”

She just looked at him, torn between bursting into tears and wanting to argue with him.

“Rey, we’re in the ER because I insisted we go. Also you’re the one who’s convinced that God sent me your way. So, just see it as God blessing you. Through unconventional means.”

She swallowed, but in the end simply said, “Thank you.” and stepped towards him to give him a brief hug of gratitude. To her surprise, she felt him tense up at the contact.

“Okay then,” he said, pulling back embarrassedly. “Let's get out of here. Where are you staying tonight? I can drive you there.”

“Ehmm...,” Rey hesitated. “I haven't found a place to stay yet. I don't really have much money and was kind of praying that God would guide me to the right place to sleep for the night.”

Ben blinked at her unbelievingly. “So, if I understand that correctly, you don’t have a place to stay for the night because you’re expecting God to magically provide one for you?”

“Well...”

“You almost got yourself raped because you went to fucking Venice Beach at night to pray.” His voice was slowly climbing towards a crescendo. “And now you’re telling me that you’ve nowhere to sleep because you’re expecting God to provide for you like he’s your fucking fairy godmother in the sky?”

Rey crossed her arms defensively, which made Ben finally explode.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you on a mission to end up mutilated somewhere in a ditch?” The receptionist glared at them, but Ben was too incensed to pay her any attention. “How dare people like you judge people like me if you’re obviously totally fucking crazy yourselves?”

Raising herself up to her full height, Rey shouted back at him, “Who said that I’m judging you?”

Taken aback, Ben just stared at her. She could see the fire in his eyes slowly subsiding and the gears in his mind starting to turn.

“Okay, Rey, here’s an idea. Since you don’t seem like the type to murder me in my sleep, and because someone needs to keep you from finding more divinely ordained ways to get yourself killed, I suggest that you stay at my place tonight. And I promise you that my pornstar lair is far less exciting than it sounds. We only have orgies on Monday and Wednesday nights, so tonight you should be fine,” he added with a grin.

Rey rolled her eyes at the joke, but after a moment of hesitation said shyly, “Thank you for the offer. That would be great. And see… God provides.”

Ben huffed. “Okay, just to make this clear from the beginning, there’s one rule in my house: Don’t preach at me and try to convert me. Is that understood?”

Rey nodded. Then a thought occurred to her. “And my rule is, don’t try to sleep with me.”

Ben laughed throatily. “Trust me, I’m not suffering from a lack of sexual partners.”

“Good.”

And with that they both left the hospital and walked back to his car.

…

After a thirty minute drive, they arrived at Ben's house in Malibu, which was all glass windows, right angles, and palm trees. They moved through the foyer and into the spacious living room. Rey walked straight past the cream-coloured furniture to gaze out of the long stretch of floor to ceiling windows, reveling in the uninterrupted view of the Pacific Ocean glimmering in the darkness.

“I bet the ocean is beautiful during the day,” she mused quietly. “I certainly don’t have an ocean view at my place.”

“I have private beach access,” Ben said as he stood beside her, “so, if you want to go for a little swim tomorrow morning you’re very welcome to it.”

She turned to face him and could see softness in his dark brown eyes. “That would be lovely.”

Ben moved into the ultra-modern kitchen area. “I’ve got some chicken leftovers in the fridge, if you like. Why don’t we eat something before I show you the guest room? How’s your head doing?”

“Much better. And some food would be great,” Rey responded while casually inspecting the living room. She spotted various awards standing on a glass shelf and picked one up; it was a golden statue of two naked people intertwined. On a little plaque near the bottom, it read 'AVN Awards. Best Porn Parody: Star Wars – A Cock Awakens'. She abruptly replaced the award with a slight feeling of alarm.

“You’ve won all these awards for having sex?”

Ben grinned at her from the kitchen. “Yeah. Still sure you don’t want to sleep with me?”

Rey shot daggers in his direction at the cheekiness. “Thank you for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.”

Ben shrugged and pulled plates full of chicken and vegetables from the microwave, setting them down on the kitchen island. They both ate quickly, and after they had finished, Ben stacked the dishes in the dishwasher and led Rey to a room overlooking the garden. A sumptuous king-sized bed dominated the space.

“This is where you’re going to sleep tonight,” he told her while placing a bottle of water, a towel, and a little bag of toiletries onto the nightstand. “The bathroom is behind the door to your left. If you hear any weird noises during the night, it’s probably just my cat Maurice,” he added with a grin. “Sleep well.”

“Ben,” Rey called out before he could close the door. “Thank you _so_ much. Seriously.”

He smiled in response. “Well, strays need to look out for each other, right?”

She stared after him nonplussed but he had already shut the door behind him with a soft click.

…

It took Rey a moment to remember why she was waking up in a king-sized bed in Malibu Beach. She snuggled up in the soft duvet and looked entranced at the morning light filtering into the room and bathing everything in its golden glow.

A loud female laugh just outside her door made Rey snap out of her daydreaming. She stretched her limbs and slipped out of bed. Then she rushed through a quick wash in the bathroom before putting on last night's jeans and a faded _The Goonies_ t-shirt she had pulled from her bag.

Rey opened her door and peered out, spying Ben and a woman Rey could only describe as a Glamazon sitting at the dining room table. The woman had straight blonde hair, full lips, and watchful blue eyes, and even beneath her loosely fitting shirt Rey could see that her body was toned but feminine.

Ben greeted Rey with a wide smile. “Morning, Rey!” He gestured at the woman sitting across from him. “This is Phasma, an old friend of mine.”

Phasma gave her a look of open curiosity. “So you’re that Christian girl Ben picked up last night?”

Rey nodded, uncertain how to react to the fact that they’d obviously been talking about her. She also wasn’t sure she liked the connotation of having been ‘picked up’.

“How did you sleep, Rey?” Ben asked. “Is your head feeling better?”

“So much better! And I slept great, thank you. That was honestly the most comfortable bed I’ve slept in for years.”

“Our Ben knows how to pick a good bed. Comes with the territory,” Phasma quipped while smirking at Rey.

Ben shot Phasma a glare as he stood and pulled out a chair for Rey. “Come, join us, and have some breakfast.”

Rey murmured an agreement and sat down, grabbing the box of cornflakes already on the table and pouring some in a bowl. She added milk as well as a few banana slices from a dish and filled a glass with orange juice. She clasped her hands together for a short prayer of thanks before beginning to eat. After a few spoonfuls, Rey noticed that Phasma was staring at her while only occasionally taking a sip from a bottle of water.

“Have you already eaten?” Rey finally asked.

“No,” Phasma said with a sigh. “I’m filming an anal scene later today, and you don’t want to know what happens if I eat something beforehand.”

Rey made a sudden choking noise and took a quick, fortifying sip from her glass of orange juice. “Yeah, I think I’m okay with not visualising that.”

She shot a glance at Ben who responded with an apologetic look.

Into the awkward silence, Rey asked, “Have you and Ben known each other long?”

Phasma nodded. “Did you ever watch the Nickleodeon kids’ show _Jimmy and the Bean Bag Kids_?”

“Yes,” Rey responded with a smile. “I used to love that show when I was little.”

“Well, Ben was was one of the Bean Bag Kids. And I was Jimmy’s spunky sidekick, Gwendolyn, with her dog, Booster. That’s how we met. Then of course we all grew much less cute and Ben tried to forever ruin his handsome face by getting involved in Muay Thai.”

Ben coughed. “Martial arts are great for the physique.”

“Oh, admit it! If I hadn’t gotten you a job in porn you’d look like Mickey Rourke by now.”

Ben grimaced at her in response.

“It must have been exciting to be on a Nickelodeon show,” Rey interjected in a pacifying tone.

Phasma scoffed. “It was fun for a while, but I wouldn’t let my daughter anywhere near the set of a kids’ show. Too many creeps.”

“You have a daughter?” Rey’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Phasma’s face lit up. Taking her smartphone, she scrolled through a gallery of pictures before she paused on a photo of a girl no older than five with blonde pigtails. “That’s Sophie,” she said, tilting the phone so that Rey could see. “She’s my little sunshine.”

“She’s gorgeous,” Rey said with a radiant smile. “Isn’t she, Ben?” She looked up and caught Ben staring at her with a mesmerized expression.

“Yes… totally,” he stuttered.

From the corner of her eye Rey saw Phasma’s head whipping back and forth between them as the other woman observed the strange moment. Rey cleared her throat nervously and turned to face Phasma.

“So, Rey,” Phasma started while throwing Ben a sly smile, “when you’re not hanging out with doey-eyed pornstars, are you one of these Christians who go out evangelizing?”

Rey startled at the question. “Yes, sometimes. Why?”

“I was shopping at The Grove recently and this teenage couple came up to me. Said they’re Christians and asked if I needed prayer for healing. And since I’d just gotten a boob job… I asked them to pray for my boobs. You should’ve seen the look on their faces!” she said with a guffaw.

“And did they pray for you?” Rey asked curiously.

“Hell no! They backed away like I’d just offered them a role in porn.”

“But they should have prayed for you,” Rey insisted with a disappointed expression. “Praying for someone’s boobs might be… unconventional, but you were still in need. They should have prayed for you.”

“Ben, did you hear that?” Phasma shot a glance at Ben who was following the conversation with increasingly furrowed brows. “I think Rey should pray for Jerry.”

“No, Phasma...” Ben started, but Phasma interrupted him, pinning Rey with an earnest expression. “Jerry is our fluffer.” At Rey’s blank look, she went on to clarify. “You know, he makes sure that everything...” she made a suggestive gesture, “stays erect on set. He hasn’t been doing a very good job lately and I think he would really appreciate your prayers… ouch, Ben, stop kicking me!”

“Phasma, I think it’s time for you to leave,” Ben said in a final tone of voice while raising his large frame from his chair.

Phasma stood up and leaned towards Rey conspiratorially. “Nice to meet you, Rey. And you should be really careful around our Ben,” she said with a smirk in his direction. “He might have a BIG surprise in store for you.”

With that, she cackled and grabbed her handbag while Rey sat stock-still, a crimson blush rising to her cheeks. Ben pulled the giggling Phasma into the foyer by her arm.

“Have a good day,” he said brusquely as he all but shoved her across the threshold and slammed the front door shut behind her.

He turned back to Rey, who was still seated at the dining table. “Well, that was a show. And I’m really sorry she put you on the spot like that.”

“I… I should probably leave now,” Rey replied quietly and got up to grab her belongings. “I'll just take an Uber downtown.”

Ben was watching her with a frown. “How much longer will you be at this conference? Are you okay for tonight?”

“I’m pretty sure I can stay with a friend,” she said evasively.

Ben sighed. “Rey, you’re really uncomfortable, aren’t you?”

She paused and looked at him with a sad smile. “It’s quite obvious I don’t belong here.”

“Rey,” he said firmly and leaned down to look her squarely in the eyes. “I don’t care what Phasma or anyone else thinks. This is my house and I decide who belongs here and who doesn’t. And you’re very welcome at my place. Okay?”

Rey wondered how anyone could resist Ben’s sincere puppy eye stare. She felt herself tearing up and answered simply with a nod and a smile.

Ben beamed back at her. “So, is it okay then if I give you my number? Just in case you find yourself in a bind and need a superhero pornstar to swoop in?”

Rey chuckled and handed him her phone, watching as Ben added his number to her contacts list and gave himself a quick ring.

When he’d finished, he looked up at her with a genuinely fond expression. “It was really lovely to meet you, Rey. Despite the rather patchy start,” he added with a grin.

“Same here,” she replied softly, as she gripped the strap of her bag tightly.

Ben took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Please look after yourself, okay?”

“I will,” she answered sincerely as he opened the front door for her, and she stepped out into the LA heat.

...

“Cut!”

Ben moved away from the naked bottom hovering in front of him and gave an apologetic look to the bearded man standing beside the camera. The man’s normally tan skin was reaching a new shade of red.

“Ren! How about you get your fucking dick up to… you know… do some actual fucking! I’ve got a date to meet the missus in Burbank at 7pm for our anniversary dinner. So, I’d really, really appreciate it if we could finish this scene within the next hour!”

“Matt, I'm so sorry. I guess I've been a bit distracted today.”

“Oh really? You could have fooled me!” The balding man harrumphed and turned away, angrily flipping through a shot book of upcoming scenes.

Ben dialed up the persuasion in the tone of his voice. “I need to jump off-set really quick to make a phone call. But I promise to come back and bring my A-game. We’ll be finished by 6.30.”

The man gave Ben a disapproving look but after a second of hesitation grumbled, “Fine!” He grabbed a white towel from a table and threw it towards Ben.

Ben did his best to clean himself up and fished his phone out of the pile of clothing thrown haphazardly on a chair off-set. He moved into the hallway, looked through his call register, and dialled Rey's number.

She picked up after a few seconds, and there was a slight delay before she whispered, “Sorry, I’ve to get out of the auditorium first.” Ben could hear her moving amongst the crowd while a rock band was playing in the background, singing enthusiastically, “ _His name is Jesus, friend of sinners, Jesus, Jesus, friend of miiiinnne_!”

Once she was in a quiet spot, he heard her whisper, “Ben, why are you calling me, is everything okay?”

“I was going to ask you that.” He sighed. “Rey, I know you’re a grown woman and I don’t mean to come across as some weird stalker… but have you found a place to stay for the night yet?”

There was silence and then he heard a sniffle, which quickly escalated into quiet sobbing.

“Rey, what happened?”

She took a deep breath and then started speaking in a rush. “My good friend came up from San Diego this afternoon and we were supposed to stay at her aunt’s place. And then instead she came up with a guy… my ex-boyfriend. We split up a month ago.” He heard more sobbing over the phone. “Well, so _that_ wasn’t going to happen, and I’ve asked around and everyone’s so damn polite about not being able to help me.” She sighed. “I guess in some ways, it’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have just assumed everything would work out.”

“You’re having a crisis of faith?”

“No, I’m mainly pissed off at people. If I had a crisis of faith every time a fellow Christian pissed me off, I would’ve lost my faith a long time ago.”

Ben gave a good-natured snort, and leaned his weight against the grey wall of the hallway. “Rey, you’re welcome to stay at my place again tonight. I’ll pay for an Uber to drop you off at my house. And I promise to not let Phasma step foot into my home until you’ve left,” he added dryly.

“Ben,” he heard Rey ask quietly, “why are you being so nice to me?”

“I would hate for something to happen to you.” He looked down at himself, naked but for the sheen of oil the makeup girls had slicked against his skin. “Consider me your knight in filthy armour.”

There was a moment of hesitation before Rey responded. “Thank you, Ben. I really appreciate it.”

“I’ll see you after 8pm then. Just ring the bell on the main gate and I’ll let you in. Speak to you soon, I’ve to get back to work.”

“You’re at work?” Ben could sense realisation hitting her on the other side of the phone. “Oh.”

“Yes, and my director is going to rip my head off if I don’t come. Soon. See you!”

Before Rey could change her mind, he ended the call. He walked back on set, eyeing a skinny man standing in the corner of the room like he was hoping not to be noticed.

“Jerry,” Ben called out, startling the fluffer out of his daydreaming. “We need to pray for a miracle.”

...

Rey rang the bell on Ben’s front gate, pondering how surreal it was that, for the second night in a row, she was staying at the house of a pornstar. Ben buzzed her in and as she walked up to his front door, she felt something soft winding between her ankles. She looked down and saw a black and white cat with large green eyes peering up at her.

“Oh, you must be Maurice!” she exclaimed with a smile and knelt down to stroke the animal’s soft fur.

Rey was so captivated by the cat’s delicate purr that she forgot about her surroundings until she heard someone clearing their throat. She looked up and saw Ben standing in the doorframe, watching her with a quiet smile.

“Hi again,” she said, wiping cat hair from her jeans. “Thank you so much for letting me stay another night. And for paying for the Uber.”

“No problem. Welcome back to my humble abode,” he grinned. “Do you eat shellfish?”

Rey nodded.

“Perfect. There’s this awesome Thai place just down the road. I’ll order us some Thai then.”

With that, Ben led the way into the house. Rey made herself comfortable on one of the cream-coloured sofas while he was on the phone with the restaurant.

“I guess work was good?” she asked, after he had put down the phone.

Ben snorted. “You don’t really want to know, do you?”

“Nothing too graphic,” she said with a blush. “But you know, it’s such a large part of your life...”

“It’s work. Everything rises and falls depending on the team you work with. And in my business, that’s more literally true than in others,” he said with a smirk.

She raised her eyebrows at the pun, but mused thoughtfully. “It’s just... it’s such a strange concept to me to have sex in front of a camera and get paid for it.” She looked at him hesitantly. “Would you ever consider doing movies that aren’t porn?”

“Rey, that ship has sailed on without me. And look at this place,” he said as he spread out his arms, “I’ve done the best with what life has given me.”

“Ben, it’s just...” she said fumbling for the right words. “I’m a bit of a movie geek, so I’ve seen hundreds of them. And I think there’s something very special about you. You’re really charismatic, in an unusual way. I’m sure you’d have more screen presence than most of those Ken doll actors touted as Hollywood heartthrobs.”

Ben sat down across from her and thoughtfully scratched his Grecian nose. “I’m touched that you think that. But going mainstream isn’t that simple.”

“But Robert Downey Jr. was in prison before he became famous! In the same prison as Charles Manson, you know. I once read he was beaten up so badly by the other inmates he would wake up in a pool of his own blood. And then he got out and Iron Man came along and BOOM,” Rey mimicked an explosion with her hands, “suddenly he had his breakthrough. In his early forties. Now look at him. He’s been the highest paid actor in the world for years.”

“Yes, but as far as I know he’s never done porn. Rey, thanks for your blind faith in my acting abilities,” a faint smile was playing around Ben’s lips, “but you’re just not being realistic. Let's change the subject, okay?”

Rey sighed, but acquiesced with a nod.

“So,” Ben leaned towards her, “since we were talking about our day, how was the conference?”

Rey pulled a face. “Well, the preaching and the music were great. It’s just that I’m really tired of church culture. You know, the sort of people who are superfriendly but also feel kind of plastic? With their images scrubbed so clean that they’ve lost any edge that might draw you to them? And even when they talk about their shortcomings it feels fake and calculated?”

Ben laughed. “I live in LA. I know exactly what kind of person you’re talking about.”

“Well, those sort of people were basically my day.” Rey shook her head in disbelief. “And do you want to know what the biggest irony is? In some ways, you’re more christlike than most of the Christians I met today. There’s actually a story in the Bible that reminds me of you.”

Ben snorted. “Is it the one about the guy with the pointy horns?”

“No, Ben,” she exclaimed in mock exasperation. “It’s the story of the Good Samaritan.”

Rey pulled her neon pink New Testament out of her bag and opened it to the Gospel of Luke.

“So, the story starts with this man travelling to Jericho and he gets robbed and left for dead on the road. And all these religious leaders just walk past him. But then a Samaritan comes along and takes pity on the man. He treats the man’s wounds, takes him to an inn and pays for all his expenses. And you should know that the Israelites despised the Samaritans because they saw them as impure half-breeds.” Rey looked at Ben expectantly. “See any parallels here?”

Ben teasingly raised an eyebrow. “I doubt the Samaritan knew any good Muay Thai kicks.”

Rey huffed, “Oh, just learn how to take a compliment!”

They were interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

Ben jumped up with a theatrical flourish. “And here's our dinner!”

After he had collected the food from the delivery man, he spread the various cartons out over the glass table in front of them.

“Is it okay if we watch some TV while eating?” he asked with a fork already gripped between his fingers.

“Sure,” Rey said, her body suddenly starting to feel very heavy from fatigue. “Let’s just relax. It’s been a strange two days.”

She wrapped herself up in a blanket and ate her Thai green curry while sleepily watching the news beside Ben.

Once Rey had finished her portion, she rolled herself into a sleepy ball. She yawned and felt her eyelids starting to droop. The last thing she remembered was her head falling onto Ben’s shoulder and gentle fingers touching her forehead, brushing stray strands of hair from her face.

...

Rey blinked as she adjusted to the sunlight flooding the room, slowly rousing her from sleep. It was morning and she realized that she was still fully dressed and lying on the sofa. A body was pressing against her side, the heartbeat of the other person steady and deliberate, and their breathing tickling her cheek. She turned her head and found herself looking right into Ben’s eyes. He was watching her with a quiet intensity that made her stomach flutter.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she muttered and began to scuttle away from him with surprising haste. However, before she was out of his reach, he lazily snagged her around the waist and pulled her back into his chest.

“Rey, relax. Nothing bad is going to happen.” She inhaled sharply, and despite not being able to see his face, she could sense him smile. “Rey, it’s okay. You fell asleep on the sofa. And on me. And now we’re just lying here.”

As the seconds passed, she could feel her body relax, molding itself gradually into his.

“It’s just...” she said into the silence, “I normally don’t wake up next to a pornstar. Or next to anyone for that matter,” she added dryly.

Rey felt him still beside her. “So, you’re a virgin?”

“Well, there’s this whole no sex before marriage business and I’m obviously more single than I’ve ever been. So, take a good guess.”

“But why?” he asked with what sounded like genuine curiosity. “It’s just sex. It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

“If it’s just sex, then why is everyone so hung up about it? And why didn’t you tell me from the beginning that you have sex for a living?”

She could feel him shift and exhale. “I didn’t think it would go down very well… with your type.”

“You know, Ben,” she said after another moment of silence, “if it was just about the physical act, I could easily find someone today and get it over and done with.”

“I don’t doubt that,” he mumbled dryly.

She turned towards him with a frown. Then she added pensively, “The tough bit is finding someone who’s, you know, worth it… emotionally.”

“Rey, I think you’re overcomplicating things and depriving yourself of something that’s really fun.”

She crinkled her nose in distaste. “But I don’t want to let just anyone get that close to me… for just a bit of fun. You know, my body, my choice. Isn’t that what people like you keep going on about?”

“Rey, not everyone has a choice.”

“What do you mea--”

Before she could finish her sentence, his smartphone started to vibrate. He fished it from the little table next to the sofa and stared at the display.

“It’s my mother,” he groaned. “Fucking brilliant start to the day.”

“At least you have one.”

“Well, you’re welcome to mine.”

With that he put the phone to his ear and growled, “Yes?”

All Rey could hear was a high-pitched female voice talking at full speed, but she couldn’t make out the exact words. The stream of noise was only punctuated by Ben making occasional grunting sounds. He finally said irritably into the phone, “Alright, I’ll be there in an hour.” turned it off, and put it back on the table.

“What happened?”

“She found a dead ferret in her swimming pool and wants me to fish it out for her.”

Rey suppressed a giggle. She watched Ben reluctantly untangle himself from the blanket and get up from the sofa. He bent down to pick up his discarded shirt from the floor. Rey studied his muscular torso discreetly, but looked away before he could catch her staring at him.

“What’s your beef with your mom?” she asked.

“Have you ever heard of narcissistic personality disorder? My mom has never been officially tested but, I’m pretty sure she has it. She could win an Olympic medal for self-absorption.” He sighed. “But since she’s my mom, I’ll take a shower and then go and fish that damn ferret out of her pool.”

With that, he left for the bathroom.

...

Rey got up and, after giving her clothing a surreptitious sniff, decided that once Ben was finished she urgently needed a shower herself.

While she was waiting, she picked up an apple and sat down next to the panorama window overlooking the ocean. Mesmerized, she watched specks of sunlight dancing across the water and waves advancing and receding from the beach area beneath the house. It suddenly occurred to her that for the first time in a long while, she was feeling totally at peace, wanting to capture this exact moment and lock it deep inside her chest. Rey remembered a book she had read about finding God in unexpected places, and she smiled at the thought of trying to explain the last two days to any of her friends back home.

She heard Ben reenter the room and turned around to see him drying his jet black hair with a terry cloth towel. He was wearing a dark pink shirt and blue jeans, which were clad snugly around his muscular legs.

“Are you planning to go back to the conference today?” he asked as he adjusted his collar.

Rey shook her head.

He laughed. “You realise you’re going down a slippery slope here. Hanging out with a pornstar instead of Jesus.”

“One company doesn't exclude the other.”

Ben snorted.

“Yes, I’ll make sure to polish my halo... Anyway, you’re welcome to spend the day at my place. And,” he gestured towards the beach area, “the offer to take a swim still stands. I have to sort out a few things in town this afternoon, but I thought we could spend the evening together. Would you like that?”

“Sure.”

“Since you said you love movies, let me take you to an outdoor screening at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. They usually have a DJ playing and after nightfall they project a movie on the wall of the Cathedral Mausoleum. I just checked and they’re showing _Leon: The Professional_ with Natalie Portman and Jean Reno this evening. There are still a few tickets left. Would you like me to get some?”

“I would love that!” Rey responded with a beaming smile that made Ben visibly pause in his tracks. “It’s one of my favourite movies.”

“Perfect,” he said, his eyes lingering on her before he bent down to put on his shoes. “I’ll pick you up at 5pm then. Feel free to eat whatever is in the fridge.”

He grabbed his car keys from the dish by the door and took a deep breath. “It’s time to look nature’s cruelty square in the eye. Wish me luck.”

Rey laughed and waved him a brief goodbye. She watched him until he had shut the door behind him, and then meandered towards the bathroom to take a much-needed shower.

...

On the way to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, Ben and Rey picked up some tacos at a Mexican drive thru. They sped down Santa Monica Boulevard, only slowing down once the upper fronds of the palm trees planted across the cemetery became visible in the distance.

Ben drove through the main gate and parked his Maserati in the nearly full parking lot. He pulled a tarp and some blankets from the trunk and handed them to Rey. “We’ll need those to keep warm.”

They navigated the main paths of the cemetery, which were lined by a seemingly neverending succession of palm trees rising into the sky. Ben and Rey passed a myriad of graves, amongst them the resting places of Hollywood legends like Rudolph Valentino and Jayne Mansfield, until they finally arrived at the Fairbanks Lawn. A large crowd had already set up their picnics on the greenery. Ben found them a spot on the far left side of the lawn where they spread out the canvas tarp, sat down, and then unpacked their food. A DJ was playing atmospheric tunes in the background while the sky beyond the white mausoleum wall began to turn a soft evening pink.

Rey took a moment to survey the people sitting around them. She glanced curiously back at Ben. “When you’re out in public, do you get recognised often?”

“I guess so,” he responded. “But this is LA, so no one really cares. And most of them wouldn’t admit to knowing who I am anyway,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I would admit to knowing you,” Rey said with a smile. “Though obviously not through your body of work,” she added with a playful wink.

Ben laughed while unwrapping a taco. They ate quietly beside each other, watching the throng of humanity milling about them.

Once the sun had set the movie began to play, projected on the smooth expanse of the white mausoleum wall. Ben wrapped a blanket around himself and Rey, pulling her into his side. She felt surprisingly at ease, resting her head on his shoulder.

They sat like this throughout the movie, Ben holding Rey close as she was deeply immersed in the story of a New York hitman taking in an orphaned twelve-year-old girl and teaching her his trade.

When the credits started to roll, they quietly packed their things, cleaned up the remains of their dinner, and followed the throng of people back towards the parking lot. Ben found Rey’s hand in the dark and pulled her along beside him. She marvelled at the surreality of the situation, walking with someone like him across a cemetery at night, with palm trees looming above them.

Rey suddenly pulled Ben to a stop. “I know where we should go now,” she exclaimed while giving his hand a squeeze. “Do you fancy a late-night snack?”

“Maybe,” Ben answered curiously. “Why?”

“There’s this place called _Donut Time_ just a few blocks down the road at the corner of Santa Monica and Highland. Have you seen the movie _Tangerine_?”

“No. But it sounds familiar.”

“The movie was shot entirely on an iPhone and it follows these two transsexual prostitutes through their day in LA. This place, _Donut Time_ , is a real life hang-out for sex workers and a good chunk of the movie was filmed in there. I would love to see it in person.”

“You watch movies about transsexual prostitutes?”

“I also wake up next to pornstars,” Rey deadpanned, “so why are you surprised?”

Ben chuckled. “Well, why not. Let’s drive there.”

...

Ben and Rey stepped into the brightly-illuminated donut shop. It was partially crowded, and they waited dutifully in line to purchase a few pastries before sitting down at one of the yellow plastic tables.

“So, are you happy with your choice of Hollywood filming location?” Ben asked with a smirk.

Rey scanned the colourful clientele surrounding them. One woman with hip-length brown hair and immaculately-manicured pink nails was arguing with a man who looked like he might be her pimp.

“It’s certainly an interesting place,” she agreed, still cataloguing the assorted crowd.

She turned back to her pastry and swiped up a bit of purple icing with a finger to taste before she raised her eyes to his.

“Ben, thank you for another lovely evening,” she said sincerely. “You know, while watching _The Professional_ , I was thinking about how Leon and Mathilda are such unlikely companions, but still _just right_ for each other. It’s the Goldilocks of relationships I suppose.”

She smiled at Ben shyly and received a tender grin in return.

“That movie was quite controversial back in its day,” Rey continued. “Especially in the American test screenings, people didn’t like the idea of a twelve-year-old girl keeping company with a grown hitman, so they recut the movie for an American audience.” Rey paused to take a bite out of her pastry. “Natalie Portman actually received some really dodgy fan mail from grown up admirers. But it looks like her child acting experience hasn’t done her any harm in the long run.”

Ben exhaled. “That’s because she had parents who were probably very protective of her.”

There was a dark edge to his voice that made Rey glance up at him.

“Isn’t that normal?”

“Not necessarily. You might have heard Corey Feldman saying how paedophilia is this big open secret in Hollywood. Some parents are so dazzled by these important Hollywood types and the idea of their kids getting famous... they rather look the other way.”

“That’s horrible,” Rey said quietly.

Ben nodded, a somber expression settling on his face.

Dropping her eyes to her pastry, Rey ventured carefully, “Phasma mentioned that she wouldn’t let her daughter anywhere near the set of a kids’ show...”

“Yeah, because despite the rather interesting impression she left yesterday,” Ben rolled his eyes at the memory, “she’s actually a really good, caring mom.”

He chewed his lip thoughtfully and started tracing idle designs into the tabletop.

“Rey, there’s a reason why I’m so pissed off with my mom. She was too blinded by the glamour of me being on some damn TV show to keep an eye on what was going on behind the scenes. Let’s just say, a few things happened to me that shouldn’t have happened to a ten-year-old.”

Rey saw a tremor of pain flit across his face. She hesitantly reached across the table and took his large hand between her two small ones. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”

His dark brown eyes met hers gratefully.

“Once I got older,” Ben went on, “I decided that nothing like that would ever happen to me again. That’s how I ended up doing Muay Thai. And I was really good at it. As you might have noticed,” he said with a sad smirk, “I work hard to be the best at whatever I do. But I became just a little too self-destructive.” He let go of Rey’s hands and pushed aside the hair on his collar, showing her a long, red scar stretching from behind his left ear to the nape of his neck. “Phasma wasn’t wrong to claim that getting me into porn saved me.”

“That’s crazy,” Rey said quietly.

“Isn’t it?”

Ben leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh, folding his arms loosely behind his head.  
  
“So, that’s my life story,” he said. “What about yours?”

Rey absentmindedly scratched a speck of icing from the yellow tabletop. “I’m just an orphan with abandonment issues. Not much to see there.”

“I don’t believe that,” Ben replied, calm conviction in his voice.  
  
Rey glanced up at him, a thankful smile on her lips. “You know Ben, every step along the way I was expecting you to leave. Just like everyone else. But you’re still here.”

Ben reached across the table and gently stroked her cheek. “Of course I am.”

They looked at each other for a long, silent moment.

“So, what do we do now, Rey?” Ben finally asked.

She gave him a little smile. “Beyond this evening? I have no idea.”

  
THE END (or is it?)

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to write a second part for Porn Again. Which I'll post in installments. 
> 
> Let's just say, our Ben is not happy...

“Ben, if you don't open the door in the next five seconds, I'm going to forcefully knock it down. I might even use my world-famous knockers to do it.”

Despite himself, Ben snorted at Phasma's announcement. He could hear her long fingernails tapping impatiently against the men's toilet stall he had been crying in.

Reluctantly, he unlocked the stall door and pulled it open to reveal Phasma in all of her Glamazon glory, wearing only a red, sparkly thong and star-shaped pasties on her nipples. But what primarily caught Ben's attention was the look in his friend’s eyes. She appeared both exasperated and worried.

“Ben, come on! We’re at one of the most important industry events of the year. You can't just hide in the toilet like some heartbroken school boy!” Phasma unceremoniously grabbed his arm and pulled him from the stall towards the nearest bathroom sink. “People are coming to Adultcon to see Kylo Ren, dark fantasy and sex god supreme, not some weepy mess of a man!”

Phasma dampened a paper towel and started wiping traces of dried tears and smeared eyeliner from Ben's face. In contrast to the stern tone of her voice, her movements were motherly and gentle.

Ben was still staring listlessly at himself in the mirror, so she said with a sigh, “Look, I know you're devastated that Rey has suddenly up and disappeared on you, but can we _please_ solve the mystery of her whereabouts after the convention? Right now it's time to get your act together and do your fucking job.”

Ben braced his arms on the edge of the sink and sighed. A week ago, he had come home from work eager to spend one more evening with Rey before she returned to her projectionist job in San Diego. But to his utter dismay, he’d found his house deserted with Rey and all her belongings gone.

When she didn’t answer her phone nor his WhatsApp messages, it occurred to him that she was trying to completely delete him from her life. Ben had been unprepared for the tidal wave of emotion that hit him following that realisation. Within only a few days, the young woman had forged a place within his soul and now the Rey-shaped hole she left behind hurt like hell. For the last week Ben had been trying not to burst into tears in public, which had worked for the most part until today.

Pushing the memories aside, Ben surveyed his reflection and then met Phasma's worried gaze. That's when he finally made a decision. With a deep breath, he squared his shoulders to show off the ripples in his bare, well-toned torso and he also flashed his most charming, tantalizing smile. Ben's whole demeanour transformed in front of the mirror, when he was slipping into pornstar mode he often felt like a superhero putting on a costume, displaying a different, more exciting persona to the world. He held Phasma’s eyes for her perusal. “Better?”

“Much better,” Phasma responded visibly relieved. “And don't you dare run off on me again just because some Rey look-a-like walks past our booth.” She quickly combed her fingers through his dark hair, before taking one of his large hands and giving it a squeeze. “Let's go. You can do this.”

Phasma pulled him out of the men's bathroom and past two convention visitors who were just entering the facilities. Their oily gazes tracked Phasma’s form up and down, with one of them remarking lewdly, “Oh sweetheart, you are welcome to stay for a quick fuck...”

Phasma responded with a toothy, practiced smile, but as soon as the men were out of hearing range, she sneered, “Those cretins are lucky that I have to act professionally around here...”

Ben and Phasma meandered through the corridors of the Los Angeles Convention Center, in the direction of the First Order Porn Industries booth. The slogan ‘Your pleasure is our First Order of business’ was displayed prominently on a black and white banner above tables ladened with DVDs, lingerie, sex toys and other merchandise.

A shirtless redhead with cold, blue eyes looked up at Ben and Phasma from behind the tables. “So, you found our heartbroken prince?” he asked mockingly as he eyed the pair.

Phasma's midnight blue eyes narrowed into slits. “Any more unhelpful comments from you, Hux, and I'll shove my heel up your pasty ass. And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.”

Hux just laughed and turned towards a group of clearly intoxicated middle-aged women approaching their booth. He had already morphed his demeanor into the man of their fantasies, winking suggestively while signing naked pictures of himself and listening with a devilish smirk to the women detailing all of the naughty things they wanted to do to him. Ben thought that Hux's fans might be far less attracted to his colleague’s haughty charm if they had to spend three full days in a convention booth with him.

Ben sat down beside Phasma who had already seated her shapely bottom in one of the two unoccupied plastic chairs standing behind the merchandise tables. He watched her lean towards Hux and whisper something into the redhead's ear. Years ago, Phasma and Hux had been in a rather tempestuous relationship which, through mutual agreement, had turned into a rather tempestuous friendship following a vociferous fight that had left their Van Nuys apartment completely trashed and led to cops turning up on their doorstep.

Ben only caught a snippet of what Phasma was whispering. “Don't be a dick, Hux. He'll get over her but please don't set him off again.” Hurt and anger were rising within Ben but he slowly counted from one to ten. He was a professional, he reminded himself as he watched Hux laughing obnoxiously at a compliment from a fan, and he was was going to act professionally.

He was jolted from his thoughts by a lilting female voice with a Japanese accent. “Mr Ren,” the voice asked, and when he looked up, an Asian woman in her early 20s was shyly offering him her rainbow-coloured smartphone, “Could you please take a photo with me?” Ben smiled at her and took the phone, and after angling it correctly shot a photo of the two of them. The young woman gazed at the image and remarked with a thoughtful crease in her brow, “You know, there is always such depth and sensitivity in your eyes, even when,” she giggled demurely, “you are doing unspeakable things.” Ben breathed a stunned thank you and amplified his smile, giving the woman a little wave as she walked away.

Next to him Hux burst out laughing, “Too bad they don't have ‘Most Sensitive Eyes’ at the AVN Awards. Wrong body part, I suppose.” Phasma elbowed him sharply in the side. Hux opened his mouth to protest, but something else suddenly caught his attention, “Oh, for God's sake...”

Phasma and Ben followed Hux's line of sight across the room. “It's the religious brigade,” Hux sniggered, “handing out chocolate brownies for Jesus.”

At the booth opposite them stood a jovial, bearded man in his mid-thirties, a chequered shirt hugging his bear-like frame. Next to him, a woman with curly brown hair was gesturing excitedly, her lithe form dressed in jeans and a simple white t-shirt. Ben watched them walk from booth to booth, chatting with people and offering them free brownies, fruit, and water from a cooling basket.

“Who are they?” he asked with a frown. The woman looked strangely familiar to him.

“The hottie is Jennifer Wilson,” Hux explained. “Formerly known as Australian porn starlet Sydney Blue. Most famous for her,” Hux made a suggestive gesture in front of his chest, “Blue Mountains, which by the looks of things have been downsized. Shame,” he pouted. “She converted to Christianity two years ago, supposedly because someone prayed for her dying pug and the dog was healed right in front of her.” Hux rolled his eyes. “Soon after, she left the porn industry and joined this LA organization for reformed pornstars called _Porn Again_. You know, a bit like _Jews for Jesus_.”

The redhead pointed at the bearded man. “That's Lukas Bolt, pastor of a church in Hollywood called _heaven21_. Mainly people from the entertainment industry attend, amongst them,” he drew a wide circle with his arm, “people who work in the porn industry. Or for the most part, used to work in the porn industry.”

Ben watched the pair curiously. There was something slightly surreal about their clean-cut appearance in a hall full of pornstars who were only two nipple pasties and a thong string away from total nudity. They reminded him of Little Red Riding Hood walking with her basket cheerfully into the woods, but fully aware she was on a direct route to the big, bad wolf’s lair.

Hux groaned when the pair finally approached the First Order booth. “And here comes the God Squad...”

Lukas Bolt greeted the porn actors with a good-natured grin and placed the cooling basket on the table. “Anyone fancy a snack? To sweeten up the long day?”

“Sure,” Hux replied with a devious grin. “If you accept some of our merchandise in return.” He picked up a bright red ball gag. “Here, take this for your wife. I'm sure she's... gagging for excitement."

Ben grimaced, however Lukas' grin did not waver. “Nah, man. Thanks for the offer, but they've already given me some free lingerie at the Sindustry booth. I'm all set.” He took in the three First Order actors sitting in front of him; Ben was eyeing him quizzically, Phasma seemed amused, and Hux was watching him with thinly veiled disdain. “Guys, if you'd like prayer for anything, we'd love to pray for you. And we believe that God speaks through dreams, so if you've had a really out-there dream recently, we could try to interpret it for you.”

Hux slowly rose from his chair and scratched his red-stubbled chin in contemplation. “You know Lukas, I had a really weird dream recently. And I would love an interpretation.”

Lukas’ face lit up. “Tell me.”

“Well, I was standing in the darkness, not sure where to turn, when this light appeared above me and I could suddenly see...” Hux paused dramatically and leaned towards the pastor, “you sucking my big, fat cock.”

Phasma started giggling while Ben groaned and bit out, “Seriously, Hux?”

Lukas merely raised his eyebrows. “Well, that's certainly graphic.”

For the first time during the conversation, Lukas' companion Jennifer stepped forward. “Hux, I want to share something spiritual with you.”

“That's new,” Hux responded with a wolfish grin, “considering the things we used to do together were far from spiritual.”

Jennifer put her hands on Hux’s shoulders, looked him straight into the eyes and with a gentle smile told him, “You know Hux, Jesus loves you.... but I think you’re a complete asshole.”

Phasma burst into laughter while Ben exclaimed quietly, “Amen.”

Hux gaped at Jennifer, his blue eyes open wide. “You can't say that!”

“Well, I just did. It's a holy verse straight from the Book of Insultations.”

She took the cooling basket off the table. “Luke, I think I'm finished here. I'll meet you at the next booth.”

They all watched her sashay away, but Lukas lingered a moment longer in front of the First Order booth, his jovial demeanour undiminished. “You know guys, genuinely, if you ever need prayer, don't hesitate to drop me a line at _heaven21@godsent.com_. I would love to put in a word for you with the big man. Have a brilliant day.” With that, he sauntered off to the neighbouring booth.

Ben turned to face Hux, “What exactly was that all about? Thanks to you, I didn't even get a fucking brownie!”

“Oh, who knows what those types lace their brownies with? Though you probably wouldn't mind, considering how you’d love to get a taste of your Christian chick.”

Phasma's eyes widened in alarm as Ben slowly rose from his chair, resembling a force of nature barely contained, nostrils flaring and his muscular body towering over Hux's much leaner frame. “If you _ever_ dare talk about her again...”

Before he could finish his sentence, Phasma stood up and laid a soothing hand on Ben's shoulder, a pleading expression on her face. “Ben, please. It's not worth it. Just three more hours and we can all finally go home.”

Ben glared murderously at Hux but nodded at Phasma and sat back down.

They spent the rest of the evening either in brooding silence or wearing their game faces for the nearly constant stream of visitors, Phasma all the while serving as a pacifying wall between the two men.

Around 10 o'clock, they changed into casual clothes and finally left the convention center, Hux quickly excusing himself and Phasma and Ben walking across the parking lot towards Phasma's metallic blue Miata.

“Honestly, Phasma, I have no idea how you could bear to date Hux. Or even live with him,” Ben remarked while watching Phasma rummage through her large, silver handbag for her car key.

“Oh, the living with him bit obviously didn't work out... but Hux does have a really sweet side,” she replied with a smile, finally unearthing the key and opening the car door. She slipped into the driver's seat, tucking her long legs into the space beneath the wheel.

Ben walked around to the passenger side and tossed a plastic bag full of merchandise in the small storage area beside his seat before sinking in next to Phasma. “Well, he's hiding it very well from the rest of the world, that's for sure.”

Phasma sent a quick message to her babysitter to let her know that she would be home soon. She then placed the phone on the dashboard and started the car. They drove in companionable silence across the almost empty parking lot and onto the motorway, each one quietly basking in the other one’s familiar presence.

As the night lights of the city sped past them, Phasma suddenly said into the stillness, “Ben, you know, I was really worried about you this afternoon.”

Ben swallowed audibly.

“You're normally much better with keeping your emotions in check. What is it about this girl?”

Ben took a deep breath. “It's hard to explain...” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “I guess Rey and I just connected. On an almost spiritual level. And then I told her all these things about myself, about my messed-up childhood, and she seemed to accept me anyway, even made me believe I could be someone better. And then... she fucking disappeared.” Ben felt the emotions creeping up on him again and quietly breathed in and breathed out, focusing on the succession of palm trees rushing past the car.

Once he had regained his composure, he returned his eyes to Phasma. “I guess she got spooked by my world. Unsurprisingly. But it's hard not to feel so fucking rejected.” He started scratching a sore spot on his left wrist. “You know what bothers me the most? That I might never be good enough for someone like her.”

Phasma huffed from the driver’s seat. “Well, you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are!”

“That's true,” Ben replied. “But what if...” he pulled one of his nude autograph cards from the plastic bag next to his feet and held it up demonstratively, “what if I don't want to be _this_ anymore? What if I've outgrown this whole pornstar persona?”

He could see hurt spreading across Phasma's face. She didn’t make him wait long for her reaction. “So, you're thinking of quitting the industry? And leaving me behind?”

Ben groaned. “Phasma, please don't be so dramatic. Of course I wouldn't just walk out of your life, you’re one of my best friends. But I've known for a while now that I need to change direction. And spending time with Rey has confirmed that.”

Phasma inquired in a seemingly neutral tone of voice, “What are you planning to do then? Get a regular 9-5 job?”

“I’ve contacted a few people in the film industry... you know, non-porn contacts.”

Phasma’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “You are thinking of getting a normal acting gig? After porn?” She laughed humorlessly. “Good luck with that.”

Ben’s face hardened, “We'll see. Better than staying in a rut. Out of complacency and fear.”

They finally arrived at Ben's Malibu house, the peacefulness in the car having been replaced by a strangely tense atmosphere.

Ben sat quietly for a moment, watching Phasma tap her well-manicured, pink nails against the steering wheel. He noticed a tear glistening in the corner of her right eye.

“Phasma--.” he started but she interrupted him, placing a hand on his arm.

“Ben, I guess we'll just have to see how it goes. Though remember,” she said, pointing towards his property. “I doubt an out-of-work actor could keep up with that lifestyle.”

“Maybe I never needed that lifestyle in the first place,” Ben replied cooly, exiting the car and slamming the car door just a little bit louder than necessary. Without anything else to say Phasma gave him a curt nod, and once he had returned it she sped off, her Miata roaring through the quiet suburban streets.

Ben opened the gate and slowly walked towards his front door, wondering what the fuck had just happened in the car.

He turned the lock and stepped inside his empty house, dropping his bags and walking straight to the kitchen sink to splash water on his tired face. He heard an insistent meowing filtering in from the guest room.

“Maurice. At least one living thing that isn't fed up with me,” Ben mumbled sarcastically. He reached the guest room in a few long strides and through the open door saw Maurice lazily stretching his black and white limbs on the king-sized bed.

After taking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on a nearby chair, Ben laid down on the bed next to Maurice and gently started stroking the cat's soft fur. Suddenly, a faint feminine scent caught in his nose and it immediately occurred to him that his housecleaner hadn't changed the sheets since Rey had slept in them last week. He felt that now familiar emotional tornado speeding towards him and with a sudden sob buried his head in the Rey-scented pillow. Maurice watched curiously while his owner cried himself into a deep sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_In his dream, Ben was overlooking the sands of Venice Beach, his body leaning on the corner of a tourist trinket shop. Its neon lights were blinking infrequently in the darkness and drawing technicolor patterns on his face. He was having a rare smoke, the cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers as he reveled in the peaceful murmuring of the ocean after a long day at work._

_Suddenly something caught Ben's attention. A young, brown-haired woman in cut-offs and a t-shirt was walking along the deserted Venice Beach Boardwalk, stopping frequently and looking out across the Pacific and toward the closed tourist stalls, bowing her head like she was meditating. Ben wondered idly what she was doing here on her own so late. He dropped the cigarette and extinguished it with the heel of his expensive leather shoe, turning around to leave when a sudden change of movement caught his eye. He looked back towards the young woman and saw that she was slowly retreating from a burly man, who was approaching her like a viper. He was pointing a knife at her slim form, the blade of the weapon glimmering menacingly beneath the streetlights._

_Ben could feel rage rising within him, pumping through his veins like liquid steel and instantaneously sharpening his focus. There in the dreamscape, he felt a transformation taking place; his hands and feet stretched into deadly paws that could slay grown men with a single swipe; his body elongated and grew golden fur and his thick, dark hair changed into an untameable mane. Ben's mouth filled with two rows of sharp teeth, and as he picked up the scent of the attacker with his heightened sense of smell, he barely suppressed a roar. In this new form, Ben sprinted towards the man and with an elegant leap pounced on him, ripping apart the assailant's throat with one vicious, terribly efficient bite. Not even a scream escaped the man's mouth, all that could be heard was the knife clattering to the ground and the lifeless body of the attacker dropping bluntly onto the pavement._

_Ben looked up at the young woman, his eyes still seeing the world through a red haze of bloodlust. She stared at his bloodstained teeth in shock and fear, taking a step backwards but losing her balance and landing ungracefully on the hard floor._

_She pulled her bare legs to her chest and sat frozen, her wide, innocent eyes fixed on Ben, as he angled his head to the side and regarded her silently. She flinched when he stretched out a paw and carefully touched her pale, luminous face._

_At the contact he abruptly felt himself shapeshift back into his human form. When he noticed blood dripping from his clean-shaven chin onto his shirt, a wave of shame washed over him at this proof of his monstrosity, scaring the radiant creature in front of him. He let go of her face and with the sleeve of his grey blazer wiped the blood off his mouth._

_Once he felt human again, he fixed his gaze back on her, "What's your name?"_

_"Rey," she whispered, the fear in her hazel brown eyes slowly subsiding as it was replaced by curiosity. She leaned towards him and mapped the topography of his face with a thoroughness that made him lower his eyes. He felt her hesitantly reach out and place her warm little hand directly over his heart._

_At the touch, something in Ben's chest constricted and he underwent another transformation. This time, he did not turn into a wild beast but instead changed into his ten-year-old self, unruly dark locks plastered to his young face as tears were streaming down his cheeks. There was a hurt so sharp and deep in his eyes that Rey pulled his small form towards her and with a motherly sigh cradled him against her chest._

_He stayed like this for a long time, resting his face in the warm softness of her hair. "You are safe here," she murmured, threading her fingers through his jet black locks. As calm slowly overtook his little body, Ben's dream-self drifted off into the innocent slumber of a child._

  
Ben woke up with a start. It was still dark outside and all he could hear was Maurice's rhythmic purring. He sleepily wiped his eyes and found his face wet with tears.

He groaned into the darkness, mumbling "I fucking can't go on like this."

Sitting up sluggishly, Ben realised that he was still fully dressed, which elicited another curse word from his lips. He fumbled for his smartphone and located it in his trouser pocket.

Ben switched it on, his tearstained face illuminated by the artificial light. With sleepy fingers, he typed ‘ _heaven21@godsent.com’_ into the address bar of his email account and formulated a quick message:

_Hi Lukas,_

_We met at the First Order Porn Industries booth yesterday. I had a strange dream tonight and would love to have a chat about it. Face-to-face._

_Kylo Ren_

_PS: This is not a hoax. I don't share my colleague's horrible sense of humor. By the way, sorry about that incident._

To his surprise he got an almost instant reply.

**_Sure, Kylo! When are you free to meet? And no worries, couldn't do my job without a healthy sense of humor! :D_ **

Ben looked at his phone screen in puzzlement.

_You’re awake? Already up for early morning prayer?_

**_Nope, my baby daughter has an upset tummy and just puked all over me. More like early morning baptism._ **

Ben snorted.

_The stench of love. ;) I hope she gets better soon. Am free Thursday, 10am if that works. Where do you wanna meet?_

**_Thursday morning is perfect. There's this really nice vegan coffee shop close to my church. Or we could meet in my church office. If you're cool with that._ **

_Your church office is fine. Please no weird spiritual hocus-pocus though. I just wanna have a chat. And feel free to call me Ben._

**_Sure Ben! See you Thursday!_ **

Shaking his head in wonderment at this most recent development, Ben turned off his phone and put it on the nightstand. He then quickly took off his rumpled clothing and gently pushed the peacefully purring Maurice to the side, slipping into bed beside him. Within less than a minute he had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

...

Ben drove his Maserati down a side street of Hollywood Boulevard and parked it behind a large, dignified looking Presbyterian church. He stepped out of the car, paused for a few seconds absorbing the view of the building and after taking a deep, fortifying breath, walked towards its side entrance. He rang the bell beneath a little sign on which the name _heaven21_ was written in vibrantly coloured cursive.

After about twenty seconds, the door was pulled open energetically. Lukas' face appeared, a wide grin plastered across the bearded man's features. He shook Ben's hand enthusiastically. "Come on in, enter Hollywood's holy halls!"

Ben followed the pastor into the church and noticed that he was wearing another one of what Ben suspected was his ample supply of chequered shirts. They climbed up a winding staircase and entered an office tucked away beneath one of the church's steeples. The room was cramped with bookshelves and a random assortment of well-worn furniture. Opposite the door, a neon sign was hanging on the wall which proclaimed in bright letters, ‘Jesus Loves U’.

"Sorry about the mess," Lukas said with an apologetic smile while removing a Study Bible and a squeaky toy from a black leather chair. He then pushed the chair next to the chestnut-coloured desk dominating the room and offered Ben a seat. "My wife was just here with our daughter. I also share this office with the woman leading the Hollywood Prayer Network and let's just say the Lord has blessed us with many things but an uncluttered office isn't one of them."

Ben sat down, his brow creasing, "There’s a Hollywood Prayer Network?" With a grin tugging at the corner of his lips, he asked, "Do they also have a prayer division for porn?"

"Oh, yes" Lukas replied matter-of-factly while opening an Evian bottle and pouring a glass for Ben. "Jennifer, whom you met at Adultcon, has put together profiles of all the major porn stars. Members of our congregation are praying for each one of them."

Ben laughed. "So, there’s someone praying for _me_?" He looked up at the pastor with a cheeky smirk. "Well, I guess I'm grateful for the _erection_ of a prayer network for porn stars."

"It's part of _erecting_ God's kingdom in LA," Lukas replied with a twinkle in his eye.

He sat down on a chair opposite Ben, folded his arms on the smooth surface of the desk and looked straight at the pornstar. His expression turned more serious. "So Ben, what brought you here?"

"Well," Ben started, suddenly feeling very nervous, his fingers playing with the hem of his washed out designer t-shirt. "When we met on Sunday, you said we should contact you if we needed, you know, spiritual help. And the last two weeks have been kinda crazy for me, and then I had this really strange, vibrant dream on Sunday night. That's when I messaged you. I just thought you could shed some light on what's going on in my life."

Lukas nodded encouragingly. "Go on."

Ben scratched his nose. "So I met this Christian girl two weeks ago at Venice Beach. I actually saved her from an attack, some fucking asshole was trying to rape h--" He suddenly paused and looked sheepishly at Lukas. "Sorry about the swearing." His expression quickly hardened again. "Though this piece of scum is lucky I didn't break all his bones on the spot." At the mere memory, rage flickered across Ben's face.

"So I gave him a good kick to the head..." Ben then recounted his fateful first encounter with Rey, how they had ended up at the hospital and eventually his home, as well as the few days they spent together before she abruptly disappeared. Afterwards, he told Lukas in detail about Sunday night's dream. The pastor listened to him intently, only occasionally nodding his head or uttering small noises of agreement.

"And now that Rey's gone," Ben concluded with an exasperated sigh, "it's like someone's cut off a part of my soul. It seems ridiculous because I've only known her for a few days but that's exactly what it feels like." He put his focus back on Lukas, pinning the pastor with dark brown eyes. "So, man of spiritual insight, what do you make of all this?"

Lukas sat quietly for a while, scratching his beard. Finally, he exhaled and started to speak. "Okay Ben, the first thing that comes to mind is that you and Rey share a soul bond." Seeing Ben's confused expression he elaborated. "I could give you a spiritual definition of a soul bond or maybe a scientist would explain it with quantum physics... but the fact is there are people who are magnetically drawn to each other. Often across large distances and despite wildly different backgrounds. They somehow find each other against all rhyme and reason, it's almost like the universe has decided they are meant to be in each other's lives." He hesitated, his eyes focussing on Ben who was watching him intently. "I'm treading carefully here... but it seems to me that a certain Someone," he pointed his finger heavenwards, "has decided you and Rey were meant to meet and be involved in each other's lives. And that's why you're in such a state now that she's gone."

Ben laughed bitterly. "Rey doesn't seem to see it that way though."

Lukas leaned towards the pornstar. "Okay Ben, here's the thing you need to understand: To you, Rey's sudden disappearance looks like a blatant rejection of _you_. Like she decided she wasn't interested in you anymore and just left. However, I know the Christian mindset and I think her disappearance has more to do with her deeply-held religious beliefs. As a pastor, I'm pretty sure I can fill you in on what went through Rey's mind when she left. Want to know my take on the situation?"

Ben nodded. "I'm listening."

"So you two met at Venice Beach. And though it became apparent quickly that you're far from a boy scout, there was an undeniable attraction between you. You'd found someone to love and protect and Rey'd finally found her knight in shining armour. Someone who truly cares. A perfect match."

"However," Lukas raised his right index finger for emphasis, "Rey's religious convictions got the better of her. I bet you she's heard her fair share of sermons about keeping herself sexually pure. So when she realised she was getting emotionally involved with a pornstar, she panicked. Wouldn't she betray her faith by being pulled into your world? So she decided to cut all ties and run. Leaving a confused and heartbroken you behind."

Ben buried his face in his hands. "I knew it! She's afraid I'll corrupt her." He then gazed back up at the pastor, an anguished expression painting his face. "And you think that too, don't you?"

Lukas shook his head. "No, I don't see the situation quite as black and white. Like I told you, I believe God orchestrated you two meeting. Despite your rather..." the pastor smiled, "unorthodox line of work."

Lukas reached for his Study Bible and opened it to a passage in the Old Testament. "See, Ben, you remind me of the verse, 'People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.' From what you've told me, you've behaved with nothing but integrity around Rey. You've literally saved the girl. It seems to me that God isn't as scandalized by your day job as you think. Instead, he sees your heart and has entrusted you with Rey. He's made you her guardian angel. An unconventional one, but a guardian angel nonetheless."

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That's... certainly an interesting way to look at things." A hesitant smile started to play on his lips.

"I've also been thinking about your dream," Lukas went on. "See, a lion can represent our most base desires, like lust, ruthlessness or the thirst for power. But it also stands for far nobler things, like kingship, fortitude and a courageous heart."

Ben nodded while absentmindedly playing with a pen lying on the desk.

"I believe," Lukas concluded, "your dream-self took the form of a lion because that animal represents your true character. I get the sense that you're driven, a born leader, and someone who can inspire people on a large scale. It's no accident that you've risen to the top of your current profession so quickly." He paused and then added, "To put it bluntly, I think you're capable of much more than having sex in front of a camera."

Ben laughed dryly. "And here we go. I was waiting for the moment you were going to tell me to stop doing porn."

Lukas replied calmly, "Ben, you came to _me_ and asked for _my_ opinion. You're welcome to take it or leave it. Ultimately, it's your choice what you do with your life. No one else is going to live it for you."

Ben bit his lip pensively, deciding to redirect the conversation. "So, how does Rey fit into the picture?"

"Going by your dream, she seems to nurture your soft, vulnerable side. And going by what you've told me about her, she also isn't afraid to stand up to you. The girl seems good for you."

Ben groaned. "So we're a match made in heaven... if only she hadn't suddenly up and disappeared." He shook his head. "Quite frankly, even if I knew how to find her I don't think I could deal with another round of rejection."

Lukas leaned towards Ben, a conspiratorial glint in his eyes. "Can I pray for you and Rey?"

Ben regarded the pastor silently and then simply shrugged his shoulders. "Why not. Since I've already come here, I might as well take all that's on the spiritual menu. Anything specific I have to do?" he asked with a smirk. "Like first confess my long list of sins?"

Lukas smiled and shook his head. "Just sit there and look spiritual."

Ben raised his eyebrows, making an exaggeratedly pious face.

Lukas chuckled. "You look like you're practicing your Blue Steel but I'll take it."

He then folded his hands, closed his eyes and prayed, "Father in heaven, thank you for bringing Ben here today. You see his heart and how it longs for Rey. I believe you've made their paths cross in the past and I ask that you make their paths cross again. Amen."

He opened his eyes and glanced at Ben. The pornstar seemed unimpressed. "That's it?"

Lukas replied with a grin, "Wordiness is not the same as godliness. And if you're expecting spiritual lightning to strike, we'll sit here all day." He stood up and gave Ben a pat on his shoulder. "Let's just see what happens, okay?"

Ben mumbled, "Sure." He lifted his large frame from the chair and said with a sheepish grin, "I gotta leave now. Work." Holding out his hand to Lukas, he added, "But genuinely, thank you. I feel much better now than I did when I woke up this morning."

The pastor shook Ben's hand enthusiastically. "My pleasure. And keep me updated on how things are going."

He led Ben down the stairs, opened the church door and after Ben had stepped outside, gave him one final wave before shutting the door behind him.

Ben stood in the parking lot for a moment, collecting himself and muttering under his breath, "Well that was _different_." He then got into his silver Maserati.

…

Phasma was sitting in a rooftop bar in Santa Monica, holding a Strawberry Daiquiri in her hand and watching the sun majestically sink into the Pacific Ocean. Despite the view, she was currently contemplating how much she wanted to be anywhere else but here.

Her daughter was staying with the girl's father, a stuntman Phasma had met during her very brief stint as a life insurance saleswoman, and Phasma had stupidly agreed to spend the rare evening off with Hux. Sitting opposite him now above the roofs of Santa Monica and watching him drink his fifth cocktail, she chided herself for forgetting that Hux was a 'regretful drunk'. Alcohol triggered a reverse Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde reaction in him that would have fascinated any psychoanalyst. The larger the amount of alcohol that Hux imbibed, the more his normally arrogant persona was replaced by a man riddled with regrets, the confessions of his many bad deeds becoming lengthier and more sorrowful by the minute.

"And you know how much I hated Lorelei Loveless's poodle," Hux sluggishly exclaimed. "It once peed all over my new designer slacks so I completely shaved off its stupidly coiffed hair. But then,” a comically sad expression spread across his features, “there was this freak blizzard in Culver City and the dog got pneumonia and died." Hux started wailing. "Lorelei was heartbroken."

Phasma rolled her eyes, but Hux was far from finished. "And when I was six years old, I was so jealous of Juniper McKenzie’s light-up sneakers that I secretly smeared bubble gum into her hair. During a sleepover at Frasier Jackson's house. Her mum had a meltdown and didn't let her go to another sleepover till middle school." A lengthy sob escaped Hux’s throat.

Opposite him Phasma groaned into her Daiquiri. "Hux, that's all wonderful to know... but I think it's time for me to leave."

Hux was too drunk to let himself be distracted from his little trip down memory lane. "And you know I was so pissed off when Kylo Ren won the AVN award last year. For this stupid Star Wars parody, after I'd spent weeks learning Shakespearean rhyme for _Romeo and Juliet XXX_."

Phasma listened up. "Ben?"

"So when I found out he was hanging out with this Christian chick I went to his house and showed her _Three Dicks In One Hole_." Hux sniggered. "But then she left and now there’s always such a sad look in his eyes." Regret gained the upper hand on Hux's face yet again.

"You did _what_?" Phasma exclaimed. "You showed Ben's most risqué and fucked up movie to Rey?!" The Glamazon shot up and struck her fist hard on the table. "No wonder that girl has run for the hills!"

Even beneath his alcohol-induced haze, Hux noticed that something had shifted in the atmosphere. He blinked at Phasma and flinched when he saw the furious look in her eyes.

"You vindictive little shit," she growled. With one elegant sweep of her hand, she snapped up Hux's martini glass and threw its contents straight into the redhead's face. Hux merely stared at her in shock as liquid streamed down his stubbled chin.

Phasma grabbed up her candy pink handbag and, after glaring at Hux one more time, walked over to the nearest waiter. She pointed out the pornstar to him, a sugary smile on her lips. "The gentleman over there has accidentally spilled his drink. Could you please bring him another one? He told me he'd love an _Adois Motherfucker_. He's also let me know he’s dying to pay the bill."

With her heels clicking succinctly on the wooden floor, she then turned around and walked towards the nearest lift, a plan already starting to form in her head.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Rey jumped up with a start from the sofa on which she had been napping on this lazy Saturday afternoon. Someone was persistently knocking on the front door of her apartment. She untangled herself from the striped sofa cover and turned to her roommate Finn, who was sitting on an upturned crate, his laptop placed on the dark red table in front of him. "Are you expecting anyone?" she asked as she rubbed sleep from her eyes.

He shook his head absentmindedly. "Marcus is visiting this evening to talk about tomorrow's sermon for youth church, but no, not now."

Rey frowned as she walked over to the front door and opened it hesitantly. She gasped when she was greeted by Phasma's face, the tall blonde regarding her with piercing blue eyes.

"Can I come in?" Phasma asked, leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe.

"Ummm..." Rey glanced over her shoulder at Finn who was still furiously tapping away on his laptop before returning her gaze to the woman towering over her. "I’m not sure that’s such a good idea."

"Well, I didn't drive all the way to San Diego just to be turned away at your doorstep," Phasma remarked, a calm but steely tone to her voice. "I suggest you invite me in. Unless you fancy a bit of a scene."

Rey glowered at her but wordlessly pulled open the door and let her in. She was pretty sure that she did not want to share whatever business she had with Phasma with her next-door neighbours. She watched Phasma walk into her living room with assured, long strides, the pornstar's tall frame immediately dominating the small space.

Rey turned towards Finn and half-heartedly gestured at the blonde visitor. "Finn, this is Phasma. She's... a friend of someone I know in LA. Phasma that's Finn," Rey smiled weakly at the pornstar. "We live together and go to church together."

Rey noticed with a frown that Finn was staring at Phasma slack-jawed, his fingers literally frozen mid-stroke on his keyboard. All that came out of his mouth was a squeaking noise.

A mischievous smirk started to form on Phasma's face. "Oh, I have a feeling Finn knows _exactly_ who I am." She took a step towards him, pretending to get a good look at his laptop screen. "Having loads of fun on that computer of yours, huh?"

Finn's mouth opened and closed as he unsuccessfully tried to form words. He abruptly shut his laptop, tucked it under his arm and while strenuously avoiding Rey's eyes, jumped off the crate and bolted out of the living room.

"My Christian fans. Doing the Lord's work by keeping me in business," Phasma mused, a dry smile curling on her lips.

Rey crossed her arms, now openly glaring at the pornstar. "So did you come all this way just to bash Christians?"

"No, honey," Phasma replied with an amused expression, placing her long body on the crate that Finn had so hastily vacated. "I'm here to have a chat."

Rey stood opposite Phasma, still staring at her defiantly. "I don't know what _we_ would have to chat about."

Phasma sighed, "I know you don't like me... and much less me invading your life, but please," she pointed towards a wooden chair on the other side of the table, "have a seat." When Rey did not immediately respond, Phasma simply folded her arms on the table and waited silently.

Having considered her limited options Rey finally pulled out the chair and sat down, her hazel eyes fixed on Phasma.

"So, Rey," Phasma started. "It has come to my attention that you've suddenly disappeared from the life of our mutual acquaintance Ben. Without so much as a trace."

"That's none of your business," Rey interjected sharply.

"Oh, trust me, I wish that was the case. But after Ben has spent the last two weeks walking around like a beaten, lovesick puppy I think that it's unfortunately become my business." Phasma placed her elbows on the red table top. "Rey, whatever opinion you might have of me, I can assure you that I care about my friends. I've known Ben for close to twenty years and I've never seen him in such a heartbroken state." She shook her head in astonishment as she gave Rey an assessing glance. "Over a Christian girl."

Rey's eyes widened in surprise and her facial expression visibly softened. "But why... why would Ben be heartbroken?" she stammered. "He's only known me for a few days. And it's not like..." she cast down her eyes, "he's an amateur when it comes to women."

Rey could hear a smile in Phasma's voice. "If you're talking about sex, no, he isn't. When it comes to the whole emotional bit... well."

Rey’s eyes returned to Phasma, confusion written across her features. "I still don't understand why he would be heartbroken," she lowered her voice, "over someone like me. I mean he has all that money and lives in a house in Malibu Beach and he has so much life experience and I..." Rey stared at her hands balled up in her lap, "well, I have none of that."

"Honey, look at me," Phasma said and when Rey lifted her eyes she saw that the older woman's expression had turned uncharacteristically serious. "I don't think you understand the power you have. You radiate innocence, something that Ben has lost early on. Because of some horrible, selfish people," Phasma sneered. "That boy is basking in your light and has gone out of his way to protect it."

Rey only stared at Phasma wide-eyed, so the blonde went on. "And now that you've disappeared he's turned into a fucking mess."

"But what am _I_ supposed to do about that?" Rey exclaimed, sadness flickering across her face. "It's not like I'll ever fit into his life and his world."

Phasma gave her a knowing look. "Oh yes, I heard you had a run-in with Hux... and that the little shithead took it upon himself to introduce you to Ben's more risqué work."  
  
Rey's cheeks turned crimson and she fidgeted uneasily in her chair.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better,” Phasma continued, “it seems like Ben's moving onto bigger and better things. All without needing to get his dick up."

Rey's lips formed an “o” of surprise. "He's leaving the porn business?"

Phasma smiled. "He's been thinking about it for a while. And he told me yesterday that this hotshot indie director has offered him a job on his newest project. Ben will play a pornstar banding together with other survivors of the apocalypse, kind of a mix of _Boogie Nights_ and _28 Days Later._ Ben's character is the complex, jaded but ultimately heroic jerk with a heart of gold.” Phasma smirked. "So, not completely removed from real life."

Rey seemed yet again at a loss for words, so Phasma added, "You and I know Ben. He's one of the few people who could transition from porn to indie movies and make it appear like a natural career progression. It's that brooding, artsy vibe of his."

For the first time since the start of their conversation, a gentle smile began to tug at the corner of Rey's lips. "Ben... he's like a cat, isn't he?" she mused. "He falls off a tree and still lands on his paws."

"You could say that," Phasma laughed. "So, I'm asking you to reconsider your sudden exit from his life."

A commotion in the adjoining hallway interrupted their conversation. Finn burst back into the room and positioned himself before the two women, pointing a finger at Rey with dramatic flourish. He was visibly working up the nerve to speak in front of Phasma, who was eyeing him curiously. Finally, he exclaimed, "Rey! I'm worried about you!" He dared a glance in Phasma's direction. "And the kind of people you’re hanging out with."

Rey smiled at him serenely. "Finn, I'm hanging out with sinners." She added with a wink, “People just like you and me." She leaned forward and gently touched his arm. "Genuinely, I'm okay."

But Finn vigorously shook his head. "No, Rey, you're going down a dangerous road here and before you know it you'll be entangled in a web of sin..." He abruptly stopped speaking when Phasma rose from her seat, displaying every svelte inch of her Glamazon physique. She took one long-legged step towards him, bent down with a mischievous smile and plastered a big, wet kiss on his lips.

Rey gasped. "Phasma, you'll give him a heart attack!" She worriedly surveyed Finn, whose dusky face was suddenly taking on a gray cast. He stared up at the pornstar looming over him, his expression reminding Rey of a mouse waiting to be devoured by a giant cat. After a moment of shocked silence, Finn darted across the room, grabbed his keys off the key hook, and hastily opened the front door. Throwing a hurt look back at Rey, he muttered, "We'll talk about this later!" and rushed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Rey could hear him running down the stairs all the way to the ground floor.

She returned her gaze to Phasma who was standing in the middle of the room with a self-satisfied grin. "Wow, you really do love to make a scene."

Rey fell silent, suddenly in deep thought. She threw a questioning look at Phasma. "How about I drive back to LA with you _now_? I love Finn, but I don't fancy having a talk with him about the state of my soul. Plus, I'm off work tomorrow anyway." A flicker of regret crossed Rey's delicate features. "And it just seems fair to at least have a chat with Ben. Face-to-face. Like proper grown-ups."

Phasma's self-assured smile grew even wider. "Sounds like a great plan to me!" She hummed joyfully, "Matchmaker, matchmaker..." earning herself a glare from Rey.

The younger woman got up and started rushing through the small apartment, throwing a few items of clothing and some toiletries into a duffel bag. She asked Phasma in passing, "So, how did you find me?"

"Oh," Phasma exclaimed, grabbing her handbag, "I almost forgot." She reached into her studded, lilac purse and pulled out Rey's neon pink New Testament, holding it out to her.

"I've been looking for that," Rey said with a grateful smile, taking the book and pulling it to her chest.

"I found it last week between the sofa cushions at Ben's place," Phasma explained. "We were watching _Sister Act_ and he was bawling throughout the whole movie because it has nuns in it." Phasma rolled her eyes. "And once he saw your New Testament he pointblank refused to take it. So, I kept it instead. You conveniently used a flyer from your church as a bookmark. It was for _Finn And Rey's Holy Spirit Eruption Group…"_ Her eyes flitted towards the door Finn had just rushed through. "I guess there are other things erupting for that boy." She looked back at Rey. "Anyway, all I had to do to get your address was to call your church and pretend I wanted to join your Bible study group." Phasma started giggling like a little girl. "My most Oscar-worthy performance to date!"

Rey shook her head in mock disapproval. "Unbelievable. I'll pray for your soul. Speaking of which, let's get going before Finn comes back."

With that, they quickly left the apartment.

...

Ben was standing in Phasma's kitchen in the buff, one hand combing through his shower-wet hair and the other opening the cupboard to take out a big box of Cheerios. Humming to himself, he poured the cereal and some milk into a bowl and sat down on a chair next to the kitchen island, starting to eat the breakfast cereal despite it being late in the afternoon.

Phasma's daughter Sophie was still with her dad, so Phasma had suggested that Ben stay at her house in Culver City for a few days, for some much-needed company and a temporary distraction from his brittle emotional state. Phasma had left this morning for an out-of-town work assignment, so Ben had spent the day relaxing, watching sitcoms and reading through the script for _Escaping Wonderland,_ which had arrived earlier today in a big brown manila envelope. It had been personally sent to him by the indie circuit's new directing darling Danny Anderson.

While turning the pages of the script, Ben heard the front door open. Just about to shovel another spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth, he shouted, "Hi Phasma!"

Suddenly there was a gasp, and when he looked up he saw Rey standing in the threshold of the kitchen, staring at his naked form in shock. Ben's spoon froze in mid-air, the pornstar gaping at her like she was an apparition.

Phasma appeared behind Rey, who was by now bashfully averting her eyes, and when she spotted Ben exclaimed brusquely, "Oh, for heaven's sake Ben, put some clothes on! I didn't bring her all the way just for you to scare her off with your d--" she shot a side glance at the younger woman, "...manhood."

Phasma picked up a towel from a pile of folded laundry and threw it towards Ben, who hastily wrapped it around his lower body.

He stood up and looked at Rey, his eyes still wide in disbelief. "Rey, what are you doing here?"

The younger woman smiled shyly. "Phasma tracked me down in San Diego today, and then..." she raised an eyebrow at Phasma, "she was very persistent in persuading me to have a chat with you."

Phasma watched them both with a big grin. She then turned towards the staircase leading to the upper part of the house and chirped, "I'll leave you two lovebirds to it!" before disappearing up the stairs.

Rey still stood awkwardly in front of Ben, her eyes focusing on the rose-coloured kitchen floor. "Ben, I'm so sorry for running aw--" Before she could finish her sentence he had taken a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her tense form, pulling her small body against his chest and resting his chin on the top of her head. He exhaled heavily, fighting the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

They stood like this for a while, Rey slowly relaxing as she was listening to Ben's heartbeat and Ben breathing in the pineapple scent of her hair.

When he finally let go Ben pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and gently pushed Rey onto it. "I'll get you a drink in a sec," he murmured, "but first I need to put on some proper clothes." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Wait here. And don't you dare run off again!" It was meant as a joke but there was a desperate edge to his voice.

Ben ran to the guest room and quickly dressed himself in jeans and a blue t-shirt before returning to the kitchen, where Rey was still sitting in the same spot. He filled two glasses from a carton of coconut water and set them down in front of himself and Rey. He then took a seat opposite her.

She hesitantly met his intense brown eyes. Ben studied her face for a moment and then asked quietly, "Rey, what happened on the day you disappeared?"

Rey shifted uneasily on her chair. She finally began to speak, "I was watching TV that afternoon when someone rang at your gate. He said he was your colleague Hux and that he needed to collect something from your house..." At the mention of the fellow pornstar's name, Ben's back straightened and his nostrils visibly flared.

Rey soldiered on. "And I probably shouldn't have let him in, but you'd mentioned his name before. When he came into the living room, he told me he wanted to show me something and turned on the DVD player. And then...," she swallowed heavily, "a movie started playing of you having sex... it was extremely graphic..."

Ben's eyes turned to slits. "Do you remember which movie he showed to you?" he asked with a dangerously calm voice.

"On the DVD cover it said _Three Dicks In One Hole._.."

Ben growled and hit his fist on the table, making Rey jump. "This fucking son of a bitch!"

He looked at her and seeing the shock in her eyes immediately reached across the table and soothingly stroked her cheek. "I'm so sorry Rey. That movie was _not_ the best introduction to my work. If I get my hands on that ginger plague..." he snarled.

Rey interjected quietly, "Ben, I don't want you to hurt him because of me."

He looked at her slightly stunned. "Hux had no right to show you that..."

"I know, but I don't want you to hurt people because of me," she replied softly. "That guy at Venice Beach was an exception," she added after a pause. "That situation was an emergency."

Anger still flared in Ben's eyes, but he reluctantly nodded his head. "Okay, I won't wring Hux's neck just yet... though don't expect me to forgive that little fucker. Should he ever find himself in shark-infested waters, I’ll be the first to stand at the shore and clap."

Ben saw Rey watching him patiently, like a parent waiting out a child's tantrum. Feeling a wave of embarrassment washing over him, he cleared his throat and summarized flatly, "So that's why you ran away."

Rey nodded. "I'd been having doubts already. If I should spend that much time with a guy who works in porn... And the movie confirmed all my worst fears." She shyly met Ben's eyes. "I absolutely love your company, else I wouldn't be here... but I also realised I could never be with someone who sleeps with other people. Ever. Even if he's _only_ doing it for work."

Ben exhaled. "I figured that." He leaned towards Rey, a sudden glint of excitement sparking in his eyes. "However, there’s been a new development..." He paused, something suddenly occurring to him. "Has Phasma already told you that my stratospheric porn career is coming to an end? As part of her cunning plan to lure you back into my arms?"

Rey nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Of course she has,” Ben said with a grin. "Well, then, let me show you something..." He rose from his chair, picked up the movie script lying on the kitchen island and almost reverently placed it in front of Rey. He sat back down and opened it to its first page.

"So yesterday I got a major role in a non-porn movie called _Escaping Wonderland_ ," Ben said, a tint of boyish excitement colouring his cheeks, "and it's gonna be directed by Danny Anderson, who's already won lots of accolades in the indie movie circuit! So, yeah, my character is a pornstar,” he added a little apologetically, “but there are no explicit scenes and it's really a character-driven story. It’s about a group of people banding together after the apocalypse. Danny Anderson invited me in for a screen test because he said there was a..." Ben paused trying to remember the exact words, "...gritty yet vulnerable quality to me that would fit the character perfectly. And Friday morning he called me and offered me the job. He told me how people couldn't take their eyes off me during the screen test. I made half the room cry." A smile lit up Ben's entire face. "It's fucking unbelievable."

Rey took hold of Ben's hand and squeezed it firmly. "I _knew_ you had it in you. I'm so proud of you!"

Ben beamed at her, pure joy radiating from his face. Then he bent towards Rey. "So, Miss Kenobi, now that my work life seems to be sorting itself out, what are we going to do about my love life?"

Rey tentatively stroked his hand. "I guess we should take it step by step?" She looked up at him with a smile. "Ben, as I said, I love being with you, but I won't throw all my convictions out of the window just because a tall, rich, and handsome guy sweeps me off my feet." Her expression became more sober. "I'm serious, I've no intention to run off again, but we'll have to figure out a way to make this work. Without one of us feeling like a fraud."

Ben eyed her curiously. He then asked her bluntly, "You're still intending to remain a virgin till you're married?"

Rey blushed. "Ideally."

Ben sighed, a resigning smile on his lips. "Oh, dear God. I guess that's the universe having a laugh at me, after I've had enough sex to last several lifetimes."

He tilted his head and examined her face, before getting up, walking around the table and hunkering down beside her. "So, Miss Kenobi," he began, a playful expression dancing across his features. "I won't drop down on one knee just yet... but do your convictions allow you to accept a kiss?"

Rey responded with a shy, approving nod that made Ben's heart leap. He briefly wondered at the surreality of a pornstar being that excited about a kiss, but then became wrapped up in her closeness, bending towards her and gently nibbling on her lower lip. He slowly pressed his mouth to hers, dipping his tongue inside and feeling exhilaration as her tentative attempts to respond got more and more daring. When they finally pulled away from each other, he cupped her flustered cheeks with his hands and looked straight into her hazel-brown eyes.

"We're gonna make this work, Rey. We're somehow gonna make this work."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the last installment of the second part of Porn Again. I know I'm mean, letting a fic with that name end with a gentle kiss. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
